Friday, February 3, 2023

    27 Modern Dating Terms You Need to Know

    Chances are if you were born any time after the release of the first Back To The Future movie, you’re using ways to get laid and to talk about it your grandparents never even dreamed of. No Victorian lady ever lost a potential husband because she failed to send an embroidered cushion back before the match expired.

    1. Catfishing
    You know this as that time you superliked the hot blond special-needs teacher with a fondness for Labradors and dead lifting on Tinder, and when you showed up for a coffee date with her instead you found The Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.

    Top definition: “The phenomenon of internet predators that fabricate online identities and entire social circles to trick people into emotional/romantic relationships (over a long period of time).”

    2. Kittenfishing
    You got kittenfished if the picture on his profile was definitely him, but was also definitely shot about 10 years, 50 pounds and half a head of hair ago.

    Top definition: “Making yourself seem way different than you actually are on online dating websites. Examples would be using photos from a long time ago, exaggerating your skills, talents, hobbies, etc.”

    3. THOT
    An acronym for That Ho Over There. You might be a THOT if you’ve been posting endless booty shots, hanging out in parking lots lip-synching to Fiddy and generally being extra long before you were allowed to legally drink.

    Top definition: “A woman who pretends to be the type of valuable female commodity who rightfully earns male commitment—until the man discovers that she’s just a cheap imitation of a “good girl” who is good only for mindless sex, not relationships or respect.”

    4. Sidechick
    Do you remember Becky with the Good Hair? She was the poster-child (if facelessly) for the side chick trope after Beyoncé’s Lemonade album elevated her status as a mere mistress.

    Top definition: “the other woman; also known as the mistress; a female that is neither a male’s wife or girlfriend who has relations with the male while he is in another relationship”

    5. Hunty
    If you’re a fan of big hair, spider lashes and a meaty tuck, you should know this one. A portmanteau of “honey” and “cunt” Hunty is a term of endearment halfway with a little sass. Only someone worth BFFing could embody the best of both.

    Top definition: “Hunty is a colloquialism used amongst the drag queen community. It is equivalent to compadre or friend and is typically said with attitude at the end of a sentence.”

    6. Netflix and Chill
    I’m sure in the days of yonder there was some equivalent paper thin excuse people made to get the object of their lust over to their house, but nowadays we like ourselves a good Netflix and Chill. You’re going to be watching Kimmy Schmidt for all of ten minutes before you hit second base at a trot.

    Top definition: “Code for two people going to each others houses and fucking or doing other sexual related acts”

    7. Holosexual
    Everything shiny, multi-chrome, pearlescent and iridescent might fall under this heading, but the purists – like Christine from SimplyNailLogical – know that only the real holo stuff is worth getting it up for.

    Top definition: “Someone who is sexually attracted to holographic things (e.g.: Nail polishes, poster boards, phone cases, ect.)”

    8. Snatchchat
    If you’re smart about your THOTting ways, you’re going to be using Snapchat to send out your nudes instead of Whatsapping them and allowing them to just sit on a primed memory card somewhere.

    Top definition: “When one uses the application Snapchat for sex-related purposes.”

    9. Chicksand
    There comes a time in every bro’s life when they have to look their bro straight in the eyes, grab him by the shoulders, and forcibly pull him out of the Chicksand his new girl is drowning him in.

    Top definition: “A word made by Damon Wayans Jr’s character, Brad, on the show Happy Endings. It’s a play on the word “quicksand” and basically means digging yourself deeper into a relationship you don’t want.”

    10. Hotline Bling
    This used to be known as a good old fashioned Booty Call. If she used to call you and now doesn’t, make sure you haven’t forgotten your cell on vibrate.

    Top definition: “A booty call this word became popular from a Drake song called Hotline Bling”

    11. Masterwait
    Oh hey, while this video of the extra-bouncy DDD MILF is loading, I’ll just pump out a quick masterwait. Also a something every fan boy and girl of Deadpool is doing between movies.

    Top definition: “Beating it off while you are waiting for something.”

    12. Bite the Pillow
    We ain’t saying it’s right, we ain’t saying it’s advisable, but every now and then a dick up the butt happens and the initial pain causes the person on bottom to bite down.

    Top definition: “Someone bites the pillow when getting anal.”

    13. Rule 36
    In the large stone tablets Lemon Demon brought down from Mt. Wikipedia when the internet was formed, Rule 36 was written down thusly: “If it exists, there is porn of it.” Rule 36 is often used on web forums and in chat rooms when the subject of strange or weird porn comes up.

    Top definition: “If it exists, someone has a fetish for it. No exceptions.”

    14. Painal
    Hand-in-hand with biting the pillow, painal is a very specific kind of anal that is definitely not overly concerned with the cuddling that might happen afterwards.

    Top definition: “Anal sex that hurts really bad (or good if she’s a masochist).”

    15. Incel
    There exist large swathes of the internet where normal mortals dare not tread, and one of those is /r/incels. Damned souls forever cursed to live out their days as (in)voluntary (cel)abates, but in no way short on anger or creepy memes.

    Top definition: “involuntarily celibate, a person who has a horrible personality and treats the opposite sex like sexual objects and thinks their lack of a sex life comes from being “ugly” when its really just their terrible attitude.

    16. Postboned
    We know why you didn’t make the 8:45 meeting this morning Amanda, and it’s not because your car wouldn’t start. That Tinder matched rolled over when you woke up next to him and you got suddenly and sharply postboned.

    Top definition: “When someone is running late because of an unscheduled sexual encounter”

    17. Venitis
    Anyone who, upon hearing, saying or having cause to indicate an arrival (i.e. come) spells it as ‘cum’ is suffering from Venitis.

    Top definition: “A disorder in which an English speaking person who hears, types, or merely says the word “come” thinks/types/writes the obscene “cum.” Sufferers of venitis span all demographic groups of English speakers. There is no known cure at this time.”

    18. Sapiosexual
    What possibly started as a vain attempt on your dating bio to sound like you care about the IQ of the person whose underwear you’re going to find under your night stand two weeks from now, has become more mainstream in recent years with various dating websites and apps allow users to identify as Sapiosexual and filter for potential matches based on intelligence.

    Top definition: “One who finds the content’s of someone else’s mind to be their most attractive attribute, above and before their physical characteristics. From the Latin root “sapien”, meaning wise.”

    19. Dating Green
    This is where you date green and reconsider those long-discarded exes before you reach for a new playdate. Many call this environmentally friendly, even though it likely has little impact on nature, pollution, or other environmental factors.

    Top definition: “The eco-friendly practice of recycling, or re-dating, former boyfriends/girlfriends, regardless of whether or not it is a terrible idea.”

    20. Auto-Erect
    When you text your mother to get bread on her way home and your phone decides to proposition her on her preferences for bedding on her way to come.

    Top definition: “When text is auto-corrected into something sexual.”

    21. Breadcrumbing
    Keeping that one option you have on a leash by saying just enough for them to imagine you’re sending out the inviting signals. The technique can also be used to have sexual partners put in more effort and come to you.

    Top definition: “The act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages (ie “breadcrumbs”) to members of the opposite sex in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort.”

    22. Ghosting
    We’ve all done it; deciding for whatever reason we’re not as into them as we thought and instead of manning up and peacing out officially, just gradually letting those texts go unanswered and praying they can take a hint.

    Top definition: “The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.”

    23. Haunting
    Anyone who has successfully ghosted you and was totally dead to you who suddenly double taps your posts or quietly retweets something from your feed from years ago. If you’ve been ghosted and the ghost is trying to get back in your life (or pants) now, they are Haunting you.

    Top definition: “When someone tries to hit you up after ghosting you.”

    24. Zombieing
    More than just liking an old Facebook picture or suddenly adding you on a Snapchat handle you didn’t know they knew, when a previous ghoster resurrects their presence in your life with direct contact out of nowhere.

    Top definition: none

    25. Thirst Trap
    Ostensibly you’re posting because you’ve had a bad day and failed your license test, but honestly if no one comments on your boo-hoo face pic about your amazing abs in that T-shirt or how bae you’re looking in your now-useless Fiat, you’re really going to have a bad day.

    Top definition: “A sexy photograph or flirty message posted on social media for the intent of causing others to publicly profess their attraction. This is done not to actually respond or satisfy any of this attraction, but to feed the posters ego or need for attention, at the expense of the time, reputation and sexual frustration of those who view the image or reply.”

    26. PAWG
    A acronym for “Phat Ass White Girl” or “Pretty Ass White Girl”. Commonly used by non-white men and women who are attracted to them to describe a white girl with a larger-than-expected booty.

    Top definition: “Phat Ass White Girl; girl with a phat ass and is white; commonly said by black males.”

    27. Fill Me / Fill Me Up / Need To Be Filled
    These phrases are often used interchangeably by a female requesting sex from a male. It either means that she wants his penis to fill her vagina or that, and she wants the male to cum inside of her.

    Top definition (fill me): “sexual term meaning to enter penetrate a vagina and or ejaculate fluid into a vagina.”


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